it's never easy to keep everyone happy as you know that you'll end up not only hurting them but hurting yourself the most.
he knows me better. he knows i can hardly keep anything from him. i knew the outcome of me telling certain things. but i know that i will not be able to keep it long enough. one thing he never know is how much guilt and sadness i feel when i had to tell. it is not that i don't want him to know. it is just that i don't want that very outcome that i know i'll be getting.
i never blamed him on anything. even if it means him keeping things from me. i never ask doesn't mean that i don't want to know. it is just that i don't want him to feel like i'm restraining him or making him feel tied up. i blamed myself for my own stupidity. i always screw up on things i really want to have. i always screw up on things i really want to achieve.
it's going to take a while for him to talk to me again. i'll be seen with my face on my pillow sobbing because i just can't help it.