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26 November 2007

it's never easy

it's never easy to keep everyone happy as you know that you'll end up not only hurting them but hurting yourself the most.

he knows me better. he knows i can hardly keep anything from him. i knew the outcome of me telling certain things. but i know that i will not be able to keep it long enough. one thing he never know is how much guilt and sadness i feel when i had to tell. it is not that i don't want him to know. it is just that i don't want that very outcome that i know i'll be getting.

i never blamed him on anything. even if it means him keeping things from me. i never ask doesn't mean that i don't want to know. it is just that i don't want him to feel like i'm restraining him or making him feel tied up. i blamed myself for my own stupidity. i always screw up on things i really want to have. i always screw up on things i really want to achieve.

it's going to take a while for him to talk to me again. i'll be seen with my face on my pillow sobbing because i just can't help it.

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