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30 October 2007

breakdown

breakdown happened today in class. my breakdowns happen without me weighing the pros and cons. i think i screwed things up again today. well, that's what myTeddy said. he's pretty angry. i've not had a decent conversation with him yet since the talk. he never says goodbye any more. he never ends our conversation with nice words any more. he just puts down the phone abruptly. i'm not sure when his anger is going to be better. i know i cannot ask for more though it is affecting me a lot.

ansari, my forum mate who i have never met always notices if there's something going on in my mind. he said, "mel dah tak ceria cam sebelum ni." ansari has been using this phrase since a few months back. haha. i wonder how can my keceriaan be seen through my hellos on YM.

i've been much a failure these days. i don't know what went wrong with me. i end up doing things i'm not supposed to. myTeddy should scold me more often instead of keeping his anger to himself. i deserve the scoldings.

sayang, if you are reading this, i'm sorry for all the things that happened lately. if it wasn't for me, none of these things would have taken place. i'm so sorry. please forgive me.

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