01 April 2007

angry + upset

i've been accused of being a cheater cheating in a relationship based on pictures of my friend found on my phone.

we have been together for almost 2 years and just because of pictures of my friend in my phone, i'm being accused of it. i never at all accused him for anything when he shows me pictures of his friends on his phone.

though we are together, he'll check on me especially my phone. i respected him and never checked on him. always having the thought, "do to others what you want others to do to you." i guess the phrase is so wrong. it didn't help at all. thanks for letting me hold on to that stupid phrase all this while. he feels insecure as i have much more guy friends than girl friends i suppose. but that should not be the reason in the first place.

it has been a hard 3 hour plus battle through the SMS and phone. being april fool's day today, this subject is not any part of the game today.

i'm battling right now. i guess even if i have won the battle, things will never be the same anymore. i don't want to lose this battle but since things will not be the same anymore, is it still worth fighting for?

it is too hard to let go as i know if i do, it will be gone for good. but if i don't let go, he'll treat me not like before anymore. i'm sure i will be very much guarded.

i don't know what to do. 3.30am, and i'm still sitting down here not concentrating on my assignments at all. i cannot concentrate at all.

i'm losing him.

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