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02 July 2006

beneficial to all earthlings

Words Women Use(And What They Mean)

ed's note: it doesn't apply to every woman for goodness sack. i definitely laughed my head off when i read this. since it gave me such a laughter, i decided to share it with all of you. have fun.

FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argumentthat we feel we are right about but need to shut youup. NEVER use fine to describe how a womanlooks.This will cause you to have one of thosearguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the fiveminutesthat your football game is going to last before youtakeout the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on yourtoes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe thefeelinga woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,upsidedown, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifiesanargument that will last "Five Minutes" and end withtheword "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a womangettingupset over "Nothing" and will end with theword "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you wantbecauseI don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "GoAhead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing"and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "FiveMinutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbalstatement very misunderstood by men. A "LoudSigh"means she thinks you are an idiot at that momentandwonders why she is wasting her time standing hereand arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "SoftSighs"are one of the few things that some men actuallyunderstand. She is content. Your best bet is to notmove or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements thatawoman can say to a man. "That's Okay" meansthatshe wants to think long and hard before paying youretributions for what ever it is that you havedone. "That's Okay" is often used with theword "Fine"and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "GoAhead". At some point in the near future when shehas plotted and planned, you are going to be insomemighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman isgiving you the chance to come up with whateverexcuse or reason you have for doing whatever it isthat you have done. You have a fair chance to tellthetruth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That'sOkay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you'rewelcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks". A woman willsay, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off atyou. It signifies that you have hurt her in somecallousway, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Becareful not to ask what is wrong after the "LoudSigh",as she will only tell you "Nothing".

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