22 September 2004

i think love does hurt

so, after yesterday's what is love's a sequal..haha..just something that actually went through my mind today. nothing related to yesterday's.

well, what do you think of love? besides all those lovey dovey session with your wonderful partner, etc. to me love hurts a lot though i am unattached..i wonder how is it for those who are attached.. as i can see, they are wonderfully beautifully for me..i'm a happy-go-lucky- person in disguise. don't you think so? well, it depends at times.

to girls out there, when i said love hurts, i didn't mean physically. what i meant was mentally. as for me, no one tends to notice but i do feel it inside. it hurts with the burning desire. it bleeds without you seeing the blood trickle. it is left with a scar. a really deep scar though i am never attached to him, this is how i feel.

love doesn't develop overnight. it doesn't take a week or two. but then it takes more than that. it takes time to show and reveal. you know you are in love when after quite sometime, he/she is still in your thoughts and in your heart. he/she just stays and never strays. that is what love is all about.

love doesn't make you hate that someone. love makes you feel more of that person. it makes you open up your mind and let you view thinks in a different perception. being in love doesn't mean you have to own that someone. to you is that when that someone is happy, you are happy. you'll get to know if that someone has a little feeling on you or not. from the way he/she talks to the way he/she acts.

that someone in me, treats me a little different depends on situation. mind you, despite everything that i'll be putting down here, you'll think that we are together but the fact is that i'm never attached to him. oh well...

i know i'm a little burden at times to him. he's one person that i go when i need something or someone to talk to. when we are with a few more others, i'll be like any other friend. but when we are alone, it is a whole different scenario. it seems as though i'm in a world like all the other attached people out there. maybe i was the bold one with thick skin who started all this before he took initiative. or is he trying to flirt with me? one question that i can't answer and i can't guess.

well, do you know that when you see that someone being nice and always together with another, you tend to feel a little upset, left out, and jealous as well? though that other person is a friend of yours? i never have any ill feelings towards my friends who are close to him. but it is just that i feel like i'm being kick in the bushes as if i'm a disgrace to him and will only be hunt for in the bushes once there isn't anyone elses around. i understand if you say that i'm being stupid for waiting for someone like this. though i try going out with others, it just isn't that same. the feelings towards others might just vanish in a month or two as i might tend to compare.

what more, if you were to ask me what special qualities that i see in him, i can barely tell you. it is just a touch by the cupid's arrow i suppose..not sure at all. haha..wait what am i trying to say here? it sounds like yesterday's a little.

so practically now, i'm a freak waiting for something to happen. once i was even labeled as a 'playgirl' by a friend because she was jealous that i have so many guy friends who are close to me and also who wants to go out with me. what a joke..but to tell you, having lots of guy friends doesn't mean that you'll find your future one among them at ties. it depends.

what can i does does does make people afraid.. love looks as if it conquers all, don't you think so?


Nicole said...

omg mel...u totally read my mind. this is fucking weird. haha. i mean..i feel for you man. based on you yesterday's and today's totally feeling the same way but of course towards different person la. the affection seems to be a neverending story. this is scary. wooshhh!

Nicole said... is more than just affection. it is beyond words and words alone can't describe it. sigh.

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