05 August 2004

this is not good

omg...something bigger happened that the one i wrote in my earlier entry. now i realised that the problem before is nothing compared to this.

wai hoe called me about an hour earlier. he's not being himself. he talks as if he is someone else. he thinks of every other thing that regards with life and death. he is practically making me worry. though i knew him for not a very long time and i've only met him once, i can sensed that he is one nice person. but today just doesn't tell who he is. from his voice, his topic of conversation and etc, i felt something wasn't right somewhere. he himself knew that but just can't figure what is going on with him. he keeps telling me how the ways to die. butcher knife, car/motorcycle accident, head banging, falling down a high building and etc, really scares me. but i tried not to be scared because i have to tell him otherwise and let him know what is wrong. it is very hard to communicate with his brains. i felt that he is thinking a lot of the past, which triggered some part in him. i'm just worried that he'll end up crazy.. i'm practically feeling uneasy since the beginning of our conversation. i'm afraid but i have to be there for him because i'm the one he turns to when he wants someone to talk to.

now all i can do is to pray and hope that he would be okay. may the grace of light from god wash away his fears and troubles so that he wouldn't have to feel like this as he is feelilng very guilty for being borned in the wrong place at the wrong time. i just pray that he would be better.

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