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28 July 2004

today is not my day!!!

i'm frustrated, irritated, hatred, and etc...

i cannot believe it that i can't let him go. though i wasn't with him for long - 6 months. it is just hard to let him go. what more he fetches me to college everyday. what can i say. i see him so often. outside we looked as if we are good friends but at times he reminds me a lot of the past. now he has a girlfriend, who is also my classmate..it is just a little hard on me. i guess i'm being not fair to my boyfriend now. what am i thinking? i believe living in a world where two people belong together isn't my place. i'm destined to be alone. though a lot that i haven't met before tend to ask me [i'm not being perasan ok], i actually felt cared and loved but it is just that i myself am not suitable for it. how can this be....who's fault could this be? i can't be putting the blame on john because he has his life to go on.. can't blame it on william also..so i guess i have myself to blame.. melissa, melissa, melissa, how can you be so stupid to only realise that you do not belong in that world...

mom really looked down on me..i can't beleive she said that. i can't take it anymore. i wanna run, i wanna hide, i wanna jump, i wanna DIE!!!


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